The Fear...

It's kind of silly but I've taken a big interest in English singer/song writers. So it seemed fitting that I name this entry after a Lily Allen song. I've even started to learn how to play the songs....

I'm started to get very nervous. I really do try to look at the bright side of things. I thought perhaps the lack of job would be a blessing in disguise. Now I realize that as a workaholic, its actually a fear I have. I've been working over 75 hours a week for the last 8 plus months. How am I suppose to survive in one of the most expensive cities when I can't legally work.

I've started to learn to play songs thinking maybe I could perform. I love singing and it's an easy way to make a little money, mostly in cash. I'm even considering karaoke contests. I can put some Journey to shame. Ask any of my friends or family....

In reality, I'm going to try to find a job assisting at a salon. It's weird to go from having a full book, busy stylist to a"shampoo girl." Not that I think I'm too good for it. It's just the starting over. I'm starting over in so many ways. I guess its sort of like driving, but now I'm on the opposite side of the car. I have the ability to do it, it's just going to take some getting used to.

I know I'm resourceful. I know I'm a hard worker. And for this is what I've been working so hard. But I can't shake the uneasy feeling. I'm hoping the unusual success (fingers crossed) of my yard sale will help relieve the angst...